If you know me, you know I belong out in the field.

Give me a dynamic outdoor training space, a team trying to solve a complex obstacle, or a lively group of leaders looking to build trust, and I am entirely in my element. Put me in a 'boredroom' staring at spreadsheets, line items, and tax structures, and my eyes glaze over within about thirty seconds.

So, early on in business, I did what every leadership book tells you to do:

I delegated it.

I found capable people to handle the finances so I could focus on my strengths out in the field. It felt like the ultimate smart business move. I checked it off my list and looked the other way.

But during our recent conversation on the UH-OH Conversations with Cohesive Leaders podcast with our guest Natalie Bouchard, I was hit with a brutal reality check about the psychological line between healthy delegation and delegation to avoid.

It starts with a simple phrase: "I got this."

When a gap opens up in your organization, whether it’s a sudden departure or a dropped ball, the instinct for many leaders is to step into the breach. We want to be the shield that protects our team from the chaos. We think we are being helpful, but in reality, we might be becoming a bottleneck.

In our recent episode of the UH-OH Conversations with Cohesive Leaders podcast, I spoke with Joseph Zahaitis, who shared a story about this exact trap. After losing half of his team in a single week, Joseph tried to shoulder the entire workload himself to keep his remaining staff happy.

He thought he was being a servant leader. He eventually realized he was nearly burning himself out while depriving his team of the chance to step up.

If you know me, you know I’d much rather be out on an adventure, hitting the trail with friends, or catching up with family than sitting behind a desk. I live for those moments of connection. The moments you can’t capture on a slide deck or a spreadsheet.

However, in my small businesses, my natural state hasn't always been Connection before Content. For a long time, my instinct was to skip the pleasantries and get straight to business. I thought that was the most efficient way to lead. What I’ve learned... sometimes the hard way... is that "business only" isn't a great process for long-term success. It might get the task done today, but it won't build the team you need for tomorrow.

Now, things like data and processes are still vital. They’re like the safety gear and the topographical maps we take on a trip. You need them so you don't end up lost in the woods, but nobody goes on a hike just to look at the map. The problem is, sometimes leaders get so obsessed with the map that they forget to enjoy the journey with the people standing right next to them.

I love what I do.

I love the teams we’ve built, the businesses I’ve started, and the mission we have at On Purpose Adventures and Cohesion Culture™ . If you’re a founder or a leader, you likely feel the same way. We pour our sweat, our late nights, and our creative energy into our work.

But there is a dangerous line between loving your work and letting your work define your worth.

I’ve seen it happen too often: a leader’s business hits a rough patch, a project fails, or a transition occurs through no fault of their own, and suddenly, they are spiraling. They don't just feel like they had a bad quarter; they feel like they are a bad person.

That is the Identity Trap.

You have a rockstar on your team.

Someone brilliant, fast, and seemingly irreplaceable.

But lately, you’ve noticed the spark is gone. They’re bored. They’re disengaged.

And as a leader who cares deeply about your people, your internal alarm starts screaming: “I have to do something to keep them.”

In the moment, it feels like leading with empathy.

We look for a shiny object like a new project, a massive challenge, or a pivot in strategy just to capture their interest again.

However, when you make strategic business decisions based solely on the emotional state of a single employee, you aren't leading on purpose. You’re people-pleasing.

Summertime is almost here. The sun is out and vacation brain is about to sweep through the office. If your team is staring out the window at the South Carolina sunshine while sitting in another fluorescent-lit meeting, it is time for a change of scenery.

Standard company picnics are fine, but if you want to actually move the needle on your organizational culture, you have to get intentional. It is time to trade the 'boredroom' for a bit of adventure.

We’ve got a major problem in modern leadership, and we need to stop pretending it’s a virtue.

We are addicted to being "nice."

In too many organizations, "nice" has become a shield. Leaders use it to avoid the hard conversations, to dodge conflict, and to keep the peace, even when that peace is fake. They convince themselves that by not calling out performance gaps or addressing toxic behaviors, they are being "kind."

As leaders, we are naturally drawn to where the friction is. We dedicate our coaching, resources, and emotional energy to the departments that are struggling to meet the mark.

We spend 90% of our energy, coaching, and resources on the 'problem' teams... the ones missing deadlines, arguing in meetings, or struggling with output.

Naturally, when we have a high-performing, autonomous team that just gets it done, we breathe a sigh of relief. We set it and forget it. We give them total autonomy because they’ve earned it, and frankly, we have fires to put out elsewhere. We call it empowerment, but if we aren't careful, it can quickly turn into neglectful autonomy.

Dr. Troy and I have found that high performance and deep engagement are driven by a culture of F.A.I.R. play. When you build a F.A.I.R. workplace, you focus on four key areas:

• Flexibility: Offering work-life integration through flexible hours and locations.
• Autonomy: Giving the workforce the power to make decisions and take initiative.
• Inclusion: Ensuring every voice matters and employees are involved in early-stage communication.
• Readiness: Investing in training and growth so talent is prepared for their next advancement.